Poolside Weirdo

I was just reading my new book, Chelsea Chelsea Bang Bang, by the pool in my neon orange speedo when I noticed a guy watching me from the upper BBQ deck. He had his cell phone out and pointed right at me. Was he taking pictures or recording a video of me? Eesh.

I was also eating lasagna and garlic bread at the time, which should have dropped my sexy factor down a few points. Clearly he did not mind.

Anyway, I positioned my book to block my lady stick so he couldn't get a shot to go home and muff off to, in the event that that was his plan. That's when he VERY SLOWLY came down onto the pool deck where I was seated next to the table which housed my lasagna. I acted like I was reading, but kept a close eye on this fuker as he slowly made his way around my table. I saw him set something down a few inches away from my precious lasagna, and thought, "Oh great, he's going to sit down next to me and god forbid, strike up a conversation."

Side note: I hate it more than anything when someone tires to talk to me while I am reading, have my iPod in or am masturbating.

After he set down his item, he quickly turned and walked away. What did he set down? A cigarette. What a poolside weirdo.

Side note: I am writing this blog from the shitter. Eating all that lasagna last night, and the rest just now, really sent my brown factory into a tailspin.