Playmate Sucks Face With ATM GOLD MACHINE

hahah thanks Dlisted.com

Photoshop Day Cream -- I Want Some

0% UV Protection

via Dont worry. Im from the Internet

FU*K YOU, FLOWERS!

Lohan & Gaga Fu*ked Up

lol

via fuckyouladygaga

What An Asshole

Duckface

"holy shit, Dlisted.com’s “hot slut of the day” post just gave us our reason to start drinking this afternoon."

via http://antiduckface.com/

Now That's a Family Portrait

via AwkwardFamilyPhotos.com

FU*K IT

= 15 points.

I am sure my bff Shane A will love this, seeing that he plays Scrabble all day on Facebook!

via 9gag.com

My Ultimate Cookbook

I live a sad, sad life!

Hey Shane, remember when we lived at Teweles in Milwaukee and we often times needed two microwaves because one wasn't always enough? lol

Google. Yup, that's about right.

via 9gag.com

SLOW DOWN YOU SONS A BITCHES

This looks like a sign my grandpa would have put up if he ever got pissed off enough. I can hear him screaming it now and it's like music to my ears. Getting in or out of a car as a kid, regardless of if it was his car or not, he would scream, "DON'T SLAM THE DOOR!" no matter how gently I closed it.

pic via 9GAG.com

Blumpkin

How would you like to enter in a security code on a website, only to have to enter the word "blumpkin?" Side note: I would find it marvelous.

I'm not sure where the name comes from, but in case you are poorly educated and are unaware of what a blumpkin is, here is the definition from Urban Dictionary.

"The act of receiving a blow job and taking a dump on the toilet at the same time."

Eloquently put.

Holy Shit

via 9GAG

I Love My Granny!

I laughed so hard when I saw this picture and also screamed because it is truly terrifying.

Seriously though, this kid's parents should be nominated for Parent Of The Year, along with Jon Gosslin, Kevin Federline and Dina Lohan.

My Perverted Old Man Neighbor

I don't know why I waited so long to post this, because I really hate it, but my perverted old man neighbor, God bless him, is a total creeper.

Whenever he sees me he always coos (barf), "Ohh look at my sexy neighbor boys! I'm so lucky to live here with such beautiful boys!" All the while trying to feel up my back as I squirm away and run like hell. He's a good shit though.

Anyway, he owns his own electrical company and his van, which is parked right next to mine of course reads, "LET US CHECK YOUR SHORTS."

Somebody get this guy a hormone suppressant.

Muff's Antiques Is Where It's At

I stumbled upon this little tranny shack called Muff's Antiques while out to dinner in Old Towne Orange, CA the other night.

Poor Muff. If only she knew the irony of her name.

Awesome Straws? Not So Much.

Really? Are they really that awesome? I don't think so. My restaurant has beverage straws that are literally called Awesome Straws. Plz.

Why did I just clarify that the straws are for beverages? What else is a Chinese restaurant going to use them for, serving cocaine with the bill in place of fortune cookies? Good.Idea.Me.

ILV2EATMYSELF2DEATH

Check out this fat license plate I spotted in a parking ramp in Beverly Hills today. You love cake, do you? I wouldn't have guessed that based on the candy wrappers all over your dash. I would have assumed you loved pilates sure, but cake? Never.

Enough With The Cookies

I'm pretty sure you're cut off.

via 9gag