I Can't...

Always Practice Safe Sex!

I'll Take One To Go

The definition of "Cleveland Steamroller" according to Urban Dictionary.

@the_herp

So she has genital herpes, big deal? She's cool with it and so am I. Let's call her now, since she posted her cell.

Party

The definition of the word "Party" according to Urban Dictionary. I'm into it.

I'm Into It

"Yes I am clean, please eat me!"

Don't fall for it. I've heard that line a hundred times and it's not always true. Trust me on this one, guys.

I DO wanna see that!

OMFG! Phone Call of a LIFETIME!

I just received a phone call from one of my best friends that went EXACTLY like this:

Me:

"Hello?"

Bff:

"Matthew... #1, I can't find my Extenze. #2, I have a Grindr trick coming over and #3, I just farted and shit my pants."

I have never and will never receive such an amazing phone call in my life. God bless.

Danimal Likes It

What happens on a Sunday night at Mickeys in Weho? Danimal el Animal finger blasts his favorite stripper infront of an entire club. REAL CLASSY!!!!

He also forcibly inserted dollar bills into said stripper's asshole.

BROS WITH PHONES - Really?

The next great smutty gay sex whore website is here, BrosWithPhones.com. NSFW, but the sext best thing.

I Am Grouchy Due to Lack of Recent Physical Intimacy

via 9gag.com

"Lets Play a Special Game." Introducing Butthole Bear

I WANT ONE! Butthole Bear is a stuffed bear that when anally penetrated, speaks to you! Perfect for kids, children or toddlers.

via twisted toy

Charming.

Just the kind of A4A profile picture you need when searching for that special someone. And by "special someone," I mean that anonymous strangers who will fist you, shit on your head and pass along a little thing called HIV. #disgusting

I Had a Wet Dream Last Night

It's a Beautiful Day in the Gayborhood

Thanks to RentBoy.com, you can now view a map of your neighborhood and see which hookers are closest to you! Technology is pretty amazing these days. Below is a map of all of the hookers in my neighborhood -- please note that I am going to be very, very busy the next few days or months.

Great New Years Resolution List Found at Gym

Thanks Josh for finding this diamond in the rough!

"DEEP THROAT MADE EASY!"

Thanks to Mark Plowman and Manhunt.net for enlightening me to this product I cannot live without!

Introducing Griffy -- aka Shakespeare

UPDATE: This was a quote from 'Sex And The City,' but regardless, I still live for it!

My good gal pal Griffy Facebooked me today the greatest piece of literature I HAVE EVER READ. Seriously, brilliant and I couldn't agree more with what he had to say.

Ladies and ladies, I give you Griffin Marc.

"whats with the weekends these days? I swear to god every guy I fuck since memorial day wants to know what I am doing this weekend, they just dont get it. my weekends are for meeting new guys, so i dont have to keep fucking the old ones."

Congratulations Griffy, you are now my favorite person ever! Continue to speak the truth, girl.

Bobby Trendy: "I Like Piggy Sex"

Thanks to my anonymous friend for cursing for gay sex and finding this great picture of Bobby.

Text From Last Night

"I'm at a orgy. No lie."