I Can't...

Absolutely Not

So my little brother is now making YouTube videos, which is s sure sign of the pending apocalypse. In this video he not only details his sodomy exploits with a one night stand, but also completely lies and says that my parents house is HIS house. Un-believ-able.

J/O On Rails

This Craigslist M4M ad really caught my attention because I:

1) Love to j/o and luckily, I fall into this guy's wide age range of 25-70 (Thank God!)

2) Really enjoy model trains, but what I love even MORE would be stomping around on them like a monster after I get off on them

3) And I LOVE imitation crab meat and would really help myself to a shit load

See you soon, handsome.

I don't wanna see that!

"IT'S A FRICKIN CANDY BRA!"

No, no men do not love it.

Check out this old wreck singing about his candy bra. BLUURRGGPPHHH! I DON'T WANNA SEE THAT! An instant clASSic and a must not see!

The car running away really says it all.

Heartwarming Message of The Day

"Do u Want easy $$ ?....im in town.I need to pay a hot stuck up white guy to let me smell his ass..if u are NOT into black guys I will pay u cash rite now just to let me smell your ass.its my fetish to smell a hot whiteboys ass and pay him for it..im very serious about this.its not a joke,all u have to do is let me sniff your bare white ass for 15 mins and tell me what a loser I am for paying u for it and tell me I will never ever stick my dick in ur ass..and if u feel the urge to call me the N word thats totally ok with me..let me know if u wanna do this now.iam ready."

WOW. I don't want to hear that!

Charming.

Just the kind of A4A profile picture you need when searching for that special someone. And by "special someone," I mean that anonymous strangers who will fist you, shit on your head and pass along a little thing called HIV. #disgusting

Me Too

via world of wonder

Sorry For Making You See This, But...

You have to see this. Apparently in the South, huge snakes like visiting car engines and then getting mutilated by them when the car starts up. Eesh, I can barley even look at this picture. I don't wanna see that,

Thanks Laura

Breasts

What an appropriate ensemble.

ABSOLUTELY NOT

I stumbled upon this diamond in the rough while praousing a Gentlemen Chat -- it's a dude laying in a basement/dungeon under a toilet seat. What could he be waiting for? I can only hope that it is not having someone take a dump on his face, but something more mild. However, when you're laying under a toilet seat, I suppose the word "mild" isn't a part of your sex life vocabulary.

I hope he get's what he's looking for. God love him.

Something You Don't Hear Everyday

"Dead man in mortuary impregnates woman"

Dead Serious News is reporting that a female Missouri mortuary worker was giving a client (a dead man) a bath when the man received a post mortem erection. The woman, being alone, decided to take a ride on the dead dick express and much to her surprise, was able bring the dead man to climax after only a few minutes. A few weeks later, the woman went in for her routine checkup and discovered that she had been impregnated by the dead man. AFter telling her doctor the story of how she was conceived, the doctor reported her behavior to the police. The woman was arrested and charged with desecration of the dead and necrophilia, and is being help on $250,000 bond.

What a Lovely Surprise

One of my DARLING roommates (take a wild guess, I only have two) was kind enough to leave me a very special holiday treat on my bedroom mirror. A splat the size of a Susan B. Anthony coin of zit blood and puss. I seriously almost threw up. Nice.

Craigslist Ad of a Lifetime

How charming is this?! Sign me up for this potential husband material! ;)

submissive fag***t for dom daddy looking to own a boy - 26 (valley)

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Date: 2010-11-29, 11:36AM PST

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newbie small d*cked white sub boy for dom daddy to turn me out as his fu*ktoy. ideally ltr and into humiliation, w/s, spankings, oral and anal training, orgasm control forced fem etc.

Word of The Day

via Santorum

"Okay, when the f*** did pants become a one-piece?"

via People of Walmart ;(

If Only You Could Smell This....

I walk past this abandoned building everyday on my walk to the gym or to one of my bi-daily trips to Subway, and every time I pass it I have to hold my breath.

I wish there was a way for my to describe to you how this place smells or better yet, physically transport it to you over the computer.

It literally smells like 10 homeless people have just spent a week laying there in the sun, baking in their own filth. It's revolting.

The odd thing is, that there are not usually any homeless people chillin here. Probably because it smells like frickin shet.

...I don't wanna smell THAT!

Looks Like I Won't Be Single Much Longer

I don't wanna see that!

Beautiful - Elephant Eats Shit Out of Another Elephant's Asshole

Who Doesn't Fit In Here?

Here are the Geovanny Underwear guys striking a pose with America's Sweetheart at what I'm guessing was either a Pride festival or a crowded book burning.

The peach in the American flag bikini is next to my future husband in the black teddy, Jonathan. Clearly, they both must take their vitamins.

http://GEOVANNYUNDERWEAR.COM

Ew, Gross. Guy Literally Has a Hole in His Head.