Calling It Out!

"The Hills" official Facebook page posted this gala photo of Speidi and totally called out their deteriorating looks. ALL ABOUT IT!

Ladies and Gentlemen... Pej.

Pej is a lady of the night that I see out every time I go out to the clubs, and every time he comes up to me and asks, "Matthew Robert! Social Intercourse! When am I gonna be on your bleg?" Well here you go, Pej. You asked for it.

98% of Pej's Facebook pictures feature him, head tilted to the left, chin up, with duckface. The other 2% of pictures feature him in his underwear. Trust me, the above collage took all of four minutes -- the abundance of these head-tilted-duckface pics are all over his Faceplace.

Pej, I don't know why you only post pics of you in this one pose. You have a great right AND left side of your head -- SHOW US! Otherwise you're just going to look like an asshole who takes the exact same picture over and over.

I hope you enjoy this post, Pej, because I sure don't. (haha jk boo!)

Introducing... The Most Boring Gay in The World!

Recently, my BFF Shane Ashton received a Facebook friend request from some random gay from up in the middle of Nowheresville, Wisconsin. Like literally, this guy lives in the middle of nowhere. Probably a town of 300 people and likely, no other gay people.

Thankfully, Shane had me look at his Facebook page because he posts the most unintentionally hilarious status updates.

Every one of his status updates details how boring of a life he lives. I..... can't get enough. It's just so pathetic and sad. I just wanna scream at him and shake him, "WHY DON'T YOU DO SOMETHING ABOUT YOUR BORING LIFE?! GET THE FEK OUT OF YOUR HOUSE!!!!!"

Please enjoy a few of the best-worst status updates below and thank God that you don't like a life this boring!

• GOING TO BE A LONG BORING WEEKEND HOPE EVERYONE ENJOYS THEM SELFS!!!

• well thinking have a cook out and watch movies alone again like last weekend....lmao fun fun\n FML

• OF COURSE ITS GOING TOBE BEAUTIFUL OUT WHEN YOU DONT HAVE ANYTHING TO DO!!!

• OMG...Sitting in my house on a saturday rearranging plants, all alone. how lame am I....!!!

• ANOTHER BORING NIGHT AT HOME!! DRINK ONE FOR ME ALL!!!

• LMAO THIS IS WHAT YOU CALL HOMELAND SECURITY: WHEN YOU SIT AT SOMEONES HOUSE AND DO THE SAME THING EVERY WEEKEND! BORING........

• BOOOORRRRRING

• im so bored with this life whens the next one start! lol

• MY LIFE BE LIKE BOOOOORRRRRING!!!!!

LOL ok, this guy seriously could post more exciting posts, even if they are lies, but it seems as though he wants people to feel sorry for him. Eesh! Sorry about it.

WTF Kind of Facebook Pics Are These?!

Ok. So NOT to be mean, but I just can't hold in my anger any long. This SWEET guy I used to know when I lived in a different state before moving to California has the most phuked up MAIN PROFILE Facebook pictures ever.

In every picture he is either PRETENDING to fall down the stairs (WTF?!), electrocute himself (seriously?!), or even play in a tree. What holds true in every picture is that he is not only doing something stupid, but making an equally stupid face.

I just can't stand this crap. He has really good head shots -- USE THEM INSTEAD PLZ because I DONT WANNA SEE THAT!

Introducing... OK GIRL! OK.

One of my tipsters turned me on to this woman on Facebook who uses the word "OK" (and sometimes "alright") wayyyy too much ok and in completely inappropriate times ok.

On Facebook, she lists her employer as, "TAKE CARE OF MY BLIND MOTHER." LOL! Ok, that's not funny, but it is when you put it in ALL CAPS AND ARE SO BLUNT ABOUT IT OK.

Since it's my job and what I don't get paid for; I took the liberty of compiling all of her status updates for you ok. I started with the oldest post ok and went through, chronicling her crumbling relationship alright, to the most recent post ok.

ENJOY! I know I sure did :)

1) i have so many guys i dont know what to do so yea im kinda a freak/hoe ok but i dont care i love guys.:)*♥:*

2) ♥♥♥♥♥*♥*♥*♥*this is for my new man JOSEPH OK

3) oh what a freaking day i had kinda went from bad to wrost in like an half an hour ok so i need a little cheering up ok my friends some one cheer me up please and thanks you?

4) im just looking for friends guys im done with dating ok dont ask me why plz just need friends to talk to alright well good night everybody peace out.

5) i found out the guy i was seeing was two timeing me,hes nothing but a player ok,hes got a baby on the way with other female ok and hasnt been there for her,at all and i really had like this guy ok so now im left heart broken once again ok,i dont know what to do ok.

6) IM SICK AS A DOG RIGHT NOW GOT A BAD COLD AND I BEEN DEALING WITH A BROKEN HEART AS WELL BECAUSE THE GUY I BEEN SEEING IS A REAL ASSHOLE OK GOTANOTHER FEMALE KNOCK UP AND LEFT HER OK,HE DONT CARE ABOUT HER OR THE BABY OK SO YEA IM DONE WITH HIM OK

"What the heck???"

Caption: "Jason looking sexy"

Comment (from apparent family member): "What the heck???"

AMAZING Facebook Fight

Photoshop Fail

I totally didn't notice that blurry spot in his hair.

Sorry for it, but you shouldn't have hired a kindergartner to photoshop your pictures on Facebook.

Worst Facebook Status EVER

Thanks to Danimal for sending me this horrendous status update from a girl he went to high school with who still lives in the middle of Bum Fuck Wisconsin. Check out the status below -- all grammatical, spelling and punctuation errors have not been altered. This status was copied AS IS.

"Had fun ice fishing my 5 yr old nephew kicked my butt w hs 9 and half inch blue gill!! Playin sme wii and drinkin-goi to c dad 2nte 4 new yrs"

ABSOLUTELY NOT

Wearing a t-shirt with a tie is bad enough, but a t-shirt with a tie screen-printed onto it? From Abercrombie & Fitch? ABSOLUTELY NOT.

In 1999 this may have been acceptable, but in 2010. Sorry for it.

Also, this picture is someone's main profile picture on Facebook. Absolutely not.

When Did Facebook Get Cunty?

How dare you, Facebook, try and tell me I don't know the person I am trying to add. I DO know them and I want to sleep with them; so fuk off. How dare you cock block me like that, asshole.

Facebook Ad Fail

"People.com

Love MARIAH CAREY? Now imagine if you looked like him!"

Facebook Can't Even Figure Out Some of My Friends

My dear friend Richard Laguna was prompted by Facebook to clarify his gender because "right now (his) profile may be confusing."

He was asked to choose which example applies to him: "Richard edited HER profile" or "Richard edited HIS profile." Hahahah PRICELESS!

Here is a photo of Richard as he was leaving Sunday mass and heading to brunch at The Shamrock Inn and Banquet Hall.

Perfect Facebook Event Invite

Could I honestly ask God for anything more? 20 HOT JOCK COCK DANCERS?! Lube wrestling? Free booze? Porn stars? Pythons? KINK?! YES PLZ!

I will definitely try to make it to Mickey's tomorrow in West Hollywood.

Crazy Facebook Message 'O The Day

Some bat-shit crazy kid from the middle of Minnesota recently started sending me MULTIPLE Facebook e-mails, comments, wall posts and instant messages every day. I would occasionally "like" something he put on my wall or write "thanks," etc. But I am sorry. I do not have time to sit down during the middle of the day and have a conversation with a complete stranger, especially a crazy one.

After he got pissed of me not giving him enough attention, THIS is the e-mail he sent me. LOL. HO-LY SHIT!

"sorry I tried to get to know you, and that your life is too shallow and meaningless for you to care about anyone other than yourself and the self-righteous morons youre friends with. Hopefully you'll find true happiness someday. Until then I'll keep living the sweet life of a young millionaire who was just trying to be polite. You enjoy your little fantasy world and if you ever feel like being real let me know. PS you were in the NOH8 photo shoot so try to give gays a reputation that is LIKED unlike what you are doing now.. Thanks"

Yeah, because you know me at all, asshole. Hahaha good luck in your delusional world, kiddo! By the way, after I received this e-mail and showed it to my roommate who is from Minnesota, and I was informed that this kid is obsessed and stalkerish with him and many of his friends back home. GOOD LUCK WITH EVERYTHING!

Most Uninspiring Status Ever

Somebody recently sent me a message on Facebook, to which I realized their current status:

"I want to spend the rest of my life, everywhere, with everyone, one to one, always, forever, now."

That makes no sense whatsoever. It's all one big oxymoron. Completely uninspiring. Basically, a random assortment of words in one big, run-on sentence. Way to go, asshole, that really sucked.

What an Idiot

In all the excitement of my previously mentioned 10,000th view, I jokingly (muy obviouso) put up the following status on Facebook:

"Whoever is the 10,000th viewer on my bleg, Social Intercourse, I will send you naked pictures of my roommates Daniel and Jacob! Ready, set, GO!"

Obviously a bit and a pretty damn good one if you ask me. Well some asshole thought I was serious. I don't know who the asshole is because most of his pictures on Facebook are of cartoon characters. Here is how it went down:

Idiot:

"oh yay i won haha lame but rather random status and yay for you 10k and crazy prize lol but i will accept my prize with a simple smirk and congrats :P

here is a screen capture i took to prove i am the 10,000th viewer ;)

and my email is XXXXXXXXXX@gmail.com"

Me:

"Ummmm you do realize that was a joke, right?"

Idiot:

"Lol apprently not haha but oh well my whole thought was hot naked guys why not do it lol"

What does he think this bleg is, a Chi Chi LaRue blog?!

The Shit-List New York

I have been wanting to see a shitty, gay reality show for a long time, and my nightmare has finally come true. 'The A-List' premiers October 4th on Logo, but based on the trailer below, it looks to be a real shit fest. I'm sure it will be entertaining and a guilty pleasure to watch these asshole try to make themselves look as fabulous and as much unlike who they naturally are.

Earlier today on Facebook, star of 'The Shit-List,' Reichen Lehmkuhl posted the following message below and also received the following two messages. He deleted those messages, but luckily, I still had them in my phone! I've met Reichen briefly, but from what I can tell, and also from the promo, he seems to be the only one of these gays who is not an asshole.

Check out the two hilarious comments below and don't forget to check out 'The Shit-List' next week on Logo! I'm sure I probably (and regrettably) will!

Reichen Lehmkuhl: Umm wow, you can download Episode 1 of "The A-List New York" on iTunes as of TODAY for $1.99. If you watch it, let me know what you think!

John: youre a great person, but.... this show is going to set back the gay civial rights movement 20 years based on the promos.... i hope the show is more balanced and not as vapid and shallow as it appears.

Craig: I wish I could say something wonderful about this show Reichen but after seeing multiple clips, to me bottom-line is it is just an embarrassment

Watch Gay Video & Lesbian Movies

Sibling Bigotry

"Jason: ur fuking nasty man ur not my brother no more."

"Shane: fek off jason. get used to it."

LOL that's a great retort from Shane!

I Don't Think "Ryan" Got The Hint That I Didn't Want to Talk

2:14amRyan

hey hey hey

2:17amRyan

we need sleeo

2:18amRyan

sup

2:24amRyan

hi

2:36amRyan

Alloha

2:49amRyan

You around