Shit.

UPDATE!

Here is the video (well, audio) of the doctor re-setting and re-breaking my toe, putting it back in place!

So I broke my pinky toe due to a vicious stubbing incident with my couch recently and... MOTHER FU&*!

She looks so lonely off to the side, all by herself. Like a fat whore being shunned by society. Or an awkward homosexual middle school student named Matthew all by himself in the corner, contemplating a brutal suicide.... (begins crying and mumbling) Oosh, oh gosh, I don't know where all this is coming from... (excuses himself from the computer to go lock himself in the bedroom for 6 hours in the middle of the day).

I sent an e-mail to my landlord saying that I would not be able to show any more apartments for them on account of the fact that I couldn't walk and this is the response I got back. Thanks asshole! Merry Christmas to you too, dick.

"I am so sorry about your toe, there is nothing you can do. Mine still hurts some time from a half a year ago.

Merry Christmas"

Yeah, I feel a lot better now.

Great Idea

At approximately 3 a.m., I thought it would be a great idea to take this discarded Christmas tree off of the curb, and give it a new home on my friend's front porch. I am *such* a good friend.

DING DONG ALERT!

Mariah Carey performed her new holiday hit, "Oh Santa!" live at the Disney Christmas Day Parade and shared the stage with a lovely ding done. I am pleasantly surprised and thrilled to bring this Ding Dong Alert to you -- check out the video below at the 1:21 mark to see this painfully obvious gay dancer's ding dong in action. How he could go on stage with that thing at full mast is beyond me.

Truth be told, I'd take a spin on that. Hummph!

FREAKIN AWESOME! People Christmas Caroling at 3am

...and guess what? People get real pissed off and I LOVE ET!

Happy Holidays from Ke$ha! Now I Like Ke$ha

Ke$ha wishes us all happy holidays from Moscow and sings "Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas" while a guy defecates in the background. #Holiday_Cheer #Pee

Merry Christmas to You and Yours, From Bobby Trendy!

If you're unfortunate enough to have never met Sir Trendy in person, here is another video that shows what he is like in person. Hint: he is exactly like the above video in person.

Deep Thoughts by Matthew

Text from Brandon:

"People are relaying your status update to me as I board a plane to Vegas. I Just want to say you're a fu&king whore and I'm proud of you."

It feels so good to make a difference this holiday.

Happy HOlidays From Evie Harris!

"We had a tradition in the Harris household, where every Christmas eve everyone got BLOTTO! Even my baby brother. We would put him on the ground and make him crawl, and he would just tip over and cry.... OH IT WAS FUNNY! He's in a home now for the retarded. So by 5:15 everyone was DRUNK AS HELL..."

"Christmas Evie" in HD from GWBG on Vimeo.

"A lot of people want you to think there is no Santa or man I won't f**k."

Brenda Dickson's “Welcome To My Holiday”

Everyone's favorite 80's soap star, Brenda Dickson, helps get us in the holiday spirit and gives us the oohs and ounts of the season! What a gal!