Sound Advice

@the_herp

So she has genital herpes, big deal? She's cool with it and so am I. Let's call her now, since she posted her cell.

Good Advice

@the_herp

Period Pussy

robdelaney rob delaney

If you ask me in a cute voice to "kiss your boo-boo & make it better," I will absolutely eat your period pussy.

Album Version or Stop Remix? That is The Question

PeterCShields Peter Shields

I'd say one of the most harrowing dilemmas in my life at all times is whether I want to hear the Album Version or the Stop Remix

Thanks Peter, you're an amazing Britney fan and I love you.

AGREED!

RT @TheBiggIdea The the most exciting thing that can happen at a play is one of the actors running thru the audience.

ClASS of The Day

Which Weho kid who is a "porn star" (used loosely. Get it, "loosely?") sent out the below message via his Twitter account? Hint: he loves getitng DPed. Just the kind of boy you would want to bring home to mom!

"I'm horny. I would like my ass plowed! I would prefer a large thick cock. Cut or uncut doesn't matter."

Tis The Season

RT @robdelaney: Outdoors it's a blizzard. Indoors, it's a jizzard. #lotion

This is What Twitter is All About

RT @@SarahThyre

I enjoy a mature black man in a bright satin shirt. #ImA58YearOldBlackWoman

Look Who The President is Following on Twitter (Hint: It's Not Me. GD It!)

LOL I can't believe The President of The United Sates is following a girl named Brittany on twitter. Brittany is a whore who loves to wear cheetah print and smoke weed. God bless Amer-I-Can!

Heidi Montag's Tweet of The Day

"Giving my self a soft tissue breast massage. Ladies we have to keep those implants soft."

Tweet

thesulk - An expressionless man in a short-sleeve button down shirt is more often than not named Bill.

Tweet

thesulk: Tell one anorexic she looks ugly when she cries and suddenly I'M the asshole.

Yeah, Sure.

Let's see how long this lasts.

via twitter

LOL Tweet

RT @munke: @WeHoDaily Overheard at taco crawl today: "My dog is gay. He loves to stand outside Mickey's and watch hot bartenders & dancers."

via WeHoDaily's Twitter

Shit My Dad Says

“It’s Los Angeles, son. It’s the epicenter of the asshole earthquake. They’d fuck you twice if they had another dick.”

So true.

via twitter

Tweet

rache111

The funniest text I've gotten in a long time "I don't do drag, rachel. Just bc I'm gay doesn't mean I'm into that" from @IfuSeek_Matthew

Hilarious

BrandonDavis14

@kimkardashian does ur perfume smell like stinky armenian foodabout 11 hours ago via UberTwitter

Shit My Dad Says

"I found some shit in your room...No, I found actual shit. Feces...Well I should hope it's from your shoes, otherwise what the fuck?"