How Depressing

Hey socialites: check out this uber depressing e-mail I just received from one of my "friends." We don't really see each other that much anymore because he apparently has a lot going for him (see below) and quite frankly, that's ok with me.

"hi matt, hope uve been good.
i recently lost the will to do anything, kinda got stuck in a routine seeing (my boyfriend) and going home after work, cooking, playing the piano and going to bed. dunno... its hard to break that routine for me now."

If I ever say something like this, I give you all permission to take turns killing me. Thank you.

Russian Kids Are Idiots

Most Uninspiring Status Ever

Somebody recently sent me a message on Facebook, to which I realized their current status:

"I want to spend the rest of my life, everywhere, with everyone, one to one, always, forever, now."

That makes no sense whatsoever. It's all one big oxymoron. Completely uninspiring. Basically, a random assortment of words in one big, run-on sentence. Way to go, asshole, that really sucked.

RIP Idiot

This is what you get for being a total idiot. Sorry for it.

Some man (with insane anger issues, apparently) in an electric wheelchair missed an elevator, so instead of waiting for the next one, he started ramming his electric wheelchair into the GLASS elevator doors.

What happens next? He breaks through the door and plummets to his death. Sorry, but what did he expect, the elevator to come right back?

If You Want to Feel Even MORE Isolated -- The TV HAT!

Also, if you want to look like an asshole.

Blackout Is Right

My bff Shane A nearly caused an 18 car pileup today on a Milwaukee freeway trying to take a picture of something stupid for this bleg. I encourage YOU to do the same if ever compelled. Read his great recap below!

"So I'm on the freeway and something catches my eye. Then I say out loud, "You're f**king kidding me." I begin laughing out of disbelief and realize I need a picture of this. After several close calls and a few other incidents I can't legally talk about, I finally got my shot. What kind of an asshole names an electric company "Blackout Electric"? What an asshole. You put my life in danger for being so stupid." -Shane'a