OMFG! Phone Call of a LIFETIME!

I just received a phone call from one of my best friends that went EXACTLY like this:

Me:

"Hello?"

Bff:

"Matthew... #1, I can't find my Extenze. #2, I have a Grindr trick coming over and #3, I just farted and shit my pants."

I have never and will never receive such an amazing phone call in my life. God bless.

Great New Years Resolution List Found at Gym

Thanks Josh for finding this diamond in the rough!

Sorry For Making You See This, But...

You have to see this. Apparently in the South, huge snakes like visiting car engines and then getting mutilated by them when the car starts up. Eesh, I can barley even look at this picture. I don't wanna see that,

Thanks Laura

Black Bear Cubs - Enter Here

Russian Kids Are Idiots

HAIL YES!

2 Year-Old Smokes 2 Packs of Cigs a Day - Is Also Super Fat, Cute, Dying.

EMBED-Two-Year Old Toddler Smokes Cigarettes - Watch more free videos

FHL

Some 101 year-old woman in China has a facking horn growing out of her head, and to make matters better, a second horn is sprouting out of the other side of her forehead. I hope her grandkids really love her, because she looks like the devil. Sorry nana - duces!

"Cutaneous horns are made up of keratin -- the protein found in fingernails -- and are typically seen in elderly people who have had prolonged exposure to sunlight."

How revolting.

via Geekologie

EF EM EL