Girl Down

We had a nippley winter in southern California this past season. So cold in fact, that my alcoholic roommate passed out Indian style, with his pussy facing the heater after eating a pizza. Burrr

Take A Wild Guess...

Which one of my roommates came home from the bar (at 1:30 a.m., mind you) SHIT-BOTTOMED WASTED and burt FOUR CORN DOGS?

Class. Pure Class.

lol

What a Lovely Surprise

One of my DARLING roommates (take a wild guess, I only have two) was kind enough to leave me a very special holiday treat on my bedroom mirror. A splat the size of a Susan B. Anthony coin of zit blood and puss. I seriously almost threw up. Nice.

Aannnndddd..... She's Out Cold.

One of my two pig-bottom roommates, Danimal el animal, passed out mid sip while watching a movie recently.

Apparently, all that tipping of the box of wine really wore the poor guy out! Rest up, Danimal, I have a feeling you're going to need it.

Deep Thoughts by Matthew

If anyone wants to come over and hookup with my roommate Daniel Kyle, he has an extra 5R parking pass he is willing to trade for a hot piece. I also have a few extra pieces of lasagna you can have, so it's really a win-win situation.

Peace

What I've resorted to in an attempt to thwart my roommate from continually consuming all of which is mine.

My Roommate's Groceries: Part Duce

Last week I took a picture of my roommate's pathetic display of groceries in his cupboard. Well today, it is even more pathetic. He has bacon bits and laxative tea -- that's it.

My Roommate's Groceries

I opened the cupboard at my apartment and noticed the pathetic display of and lack of food my roommate currently owns. Actually, this is what his cupboard normally looks like.

Some noodles, bacon bits, tea that makes you shit, beans (more shit) and 7-Up (or as I like to refer to it, mixer).

My Roommate Almost Got Killed By A Potted Plant

It has been as windy as a betch here in L.A. the last few days. My "roommate" and I were in the hot tub rubbing each other down when a potted plant tried to pull a blitzkriek on him as he sat on Grindr on his iPhone.

Too bad the tree missed -- I could have had rent paid in full for an apartment for a month all to myself. I never get anything that I want!

My Current Refrigerator

Welcome to Jacob's and my refrigerator. We are a couple of middle-aged homos and cheap drunks at best. Double fail.