Showing posts with label Deep Thoughts. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Deep Thoughts. Show all posts
Saturday, April 9, 2011
Deep Thoughts by Matthew
Walking into the bathroom at work and being gagged by a shet smell isn't a good way to start a shift.
Wednesday, April 6, 2011
Deep Thoughts by Matthew
Whenever we pose for a picture, we all secretly think it's going to be "the one;" the most mazing picture of ourselves ever. 99.999% of the time we end up deleting it becauase we look so revolting.
Deep Thoughts by Matthew
It's nights like tonight when I have inexplicable gas, that it's a good thing I'm single.
Tuesday, March 15, 2011
Deep Thoughts by Matthew
I've had many accidents in my car, but none involving another automobile. #allstate
Wednesday, March 2, 2011
Deep Thoughts by Matthew
If you ever use the term, "Be real," you yourself are absolutely not being real.
Deep Thoughts by Matthew
I'm sorry, but if you ever had a friend take a picture of you to look like it was a paparazzi shot, you're a complete embarrassment to everything.
Tuesday, March 1, 2011
Monday, February 7, 2011
Deep Thoughts by Matthew
It is more socially acceptable to do drugs in the bathroom than to go to the bathroom. #weho
Tuesday, February 1, 2011
Deep Thoughts by Matthew
I enjoy going to the gym at this time in the afternoon, because that is when most of the strippers and pornstars go.
Monday, January 31, 2011
Deep Thoughts by Matthew
With Valentine's Day quickly approaching, I am desperately searching for a husband. If ur not a total fry, plz apply within.
Friday, January 28, 2011
Deep Thoughts by Matthew
The new 24hr Fitness is beautiful. It was also great to workout amongst porn stars again.
Thursday, January 27, 2011
Deep Thoughts by Matthew
Whenever I wear my cheap walmart makeup, ladies at work complement me on my skin...
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
Deep Thoughts by Matthew
When an old man hears something true, but doesn't want to believe it, his response will be; "Bologna!"
Deep Thoughts by Matthew
I hate going into the bathroom, breathing and being able to taste the person's shit who was in there before me.
Deep Thoughts by Matthew
LOL I just thought to myself, "I have nothing to be ashamed of, except for my entire body." Well, actually not so funny. Oh well. That's alright. I'll be fine.
I will.
Monday, January 24, 2011
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