This Is Why They Aren't Called The "Terrific Twos"

:D

My girl Sarah's little one. LOLOL I so do not ever want kids.

White Girl Wasted

LOLOLOL

There Is A New Announcement

You're basic.

If I were a parent (and thank THE LORD I am not), I would never allow my pre-teens to use a webcam and put videos of themselves on YouTube. Because shit like this happens. Hilarious yes, but his poor father must be dying inside.

I'm only 28 years young, but when I was growing up, webcams did not exist - and thank God, because who knows what I would have done. I remember being about 14 and at a sleepover, and we put our dicks inside the scanner and scanned them.

Correct.

The Westboro Baptist Church doesn't always hit the nail on the head, but they sure nailed this one. According to those bastards, God apparently loves H8 and H8ing just about everyone. GOOD TIMES!

via queerty

Gimme Pizza

You are cordially invited to Mary-Kate and Ashley's Ghetto Sleepover!

I especially love their lesbian friend singing about fish. And of course, their African American friend wants to add friend chicken to the pizza..... unreal.

I Had a Wet Dream Last Night

This Dog Deserves to be Sainted

Thanks Shawn Goede

Best Passport Picture. Ever.

My new girlfriend, Leah, has got to have the best passport picture of all time. Look at the frightened look in her eyes, tears welling up and the double chin.

Nothing cheers me up more than a toddler who is scared to death :)

Must Be 21 To Enter

Way To Go, Dumbass

Who Wants Juice?

Not me.

"Pet The Pretty Tiger, Timmy! He Won't Hurt You!"

"You're going to hell, mom and dad. I hate you both so much. I hope I don't die right now..."

Why?

Why would an elementary school put on a school play reenacting Scareface? I don't know, but the girl in the play is freaking awesome. "You do coke and you kill people. That's wonderful, Tony." lol?