White Girl Wasted

LOLOLOL

Girl Down

We had a nippley winter in southern California this past season. So cold in fact, that my alcoholic roommate passed out Indian style, with his pussy facing the heater after eating a pizza. Burrr

Oops

I was streetwalking down memory lane and found this gem.

Welcome to Milwaukee

I used to live in the building featured below, the ghetto fabulous Tewles Seed Tower building in Milwaukee's Fifth Ward.  The camera allowed us to view on our televisions who was buzzing in to our apartment -- it also made for very cheap entertainment on cold, lonely, drunken nights.

Enjoy this clip someone captured of an absolutely BLATTO asshole trying to break down the door with his Doc Martens.

Looking?

One of my dear, sweet friends came over the other night DRUNK AS HELL! Like any respectable girl, he hopped right on Grindr and Adam4Adam, but before he got any hits, passed right out with both man hunting applications running.

Poor little hornball!

Drunk Baby Trashes Las Palmas Bar

Apparently, this brilliant video is a trailer for a movie titled, "Las Palmas," but if you ask me, this looks like hidden camera footage of my roommate Danimal or bff Brandon Rolph.

The Real Anna Nicole Show

This is a GREAT 'Mad TV' spoof of 'The Anna Nicole Show' and a must see!

"I love you like all the fishes in the sea, and all the sugar in my doughnuts, and all the pills in my me. My me me my mo moo." - Anna Nicole Smith

"She's a retarded whore. She's a baby in the body of a retarded whore. She's retarded. Dumb whore. Fat, fat pig. Retarded pig whore." - Howard K. Stern LOL

OH Anna! Such a tragic forecast for future events. RIP darling.

Great New Years Resolution List Found at Gym

Thanks Josh for finding this diamond in the rough!

Million Dollar Smile

Aww Joshy, fix your tooth girl.

Class. Pure Class.

lol

"I Eat at Perkins 3 Times a Week."

A walk home from the bars starring Danimal y Mataeo.

"She has $13 in her pocket!"

While I was simply trying to eat some pizza like a good, Christian woman, Danimal was drunk off his asshole repeatedly telling a homeless man that Teddy has $13 in her pocket.

Welcome to My Alma Mater, MilROCKee, WI.

Behold one of the best drunk fights ever caught on camera. A real treat!

Please not the snowmobile outfit the one guy is wearing as he leaves the bar. Shit-tastic!

Caught On Camera - Danimal Drunk

While chatting with my bff and future roommate, Danimal, last night; I asked him to measure his bed to see how it will fit in my room here in El Lay.

He was a little bit drunk as per usual, so he tired walking in a straight line along his bed to uncover how many feet wide it is. Well, betch was so busted she could barley walk straight and damn near toppled over like The Leaning Tower of Dominos Pizza!

You're welcome.

Drunk - How Not to Act at an Airport

Drunk, Fat and Stupid Is No Way To Go Through Life

Here is a picture of resident WeHo philanthropist and Lap Band spokeswoman, Brandon Rolph, having a great time on the sidewalk after a long afternoon of drinking and eating Bugles.

I'll leave him there to rest. He looks so peaceful when he sleeps!

Happy B'day, Brandon!

Just remember, you're only as old as people think you are.

I H8 you.

Coming Home After a Few...

A sneak peak into a night with Shane A. Typical.

750 ml Wine Glass - YES PLZ!!

Are you telling me I can fit an ENTIRE bottle of wine in ONE wine glass? Or better yet, an entire BOX of wine into SIX of these bad boys?! I'll take a backer's dozen, PLZ!

Drunkskies

A few nights ago while some people were over, we decided to record a video of ourselves doing shots to see what assholes we looked like when we viewed the footage in the morning.

Behold.

"I pooped my pants. I ate too much corn."

A drunk woman in Ohio was pulled over at one in the afternoon with her child in the backseat, so drunk she could not stand up. Then she shit herself. Amazeballs 2012.